- Ralph (rooting through his suitcase): "I can't find my other white sock."
- Me: "I think I packed two."
- Ralph: "Oh no--you packed a white one and a gray one."
- Me: "Really? I'm sorry."
- Ralph: "This white sock misses his brother."
- Me: "You know I hate it when you personify things. It makes me feel bad."
- Ralph: "This white sock's name is Petey and his brother's name is Jaime and you left Jaime at home."
- Me: "Please stop."
- Ralph (brandishing the gray sock): "Instead you brought UNCLE SLYVIN!!"
- Me: "Are you kidding me?"
- Ralph: "And Uncle Slyvin was in prison!! He doesn't deserve to go on vacation."
- Me: "Seriously. Stop it."
- Ralph: "Poor Jaime. I can't believe you let Slyvin get away with this."
- Me: "I AM SORRY ABOUT YOUR SOCKS."
- *Three hours later on the train ride home*
- Me: "Okay, why was Uncle Slyvin in prison?"
- Ralph (without missing a beat): "Money laundering."
I’m waiting at the Amtrak and a little Italian boy literally just said, “Mamma Mia!” to his mother, and it was everything.
- Ralph (while looking through his closet): "What would you wear if you could possibly meet Neil Finn tonight?"
- Me: "Boobs."
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